On sexism, rape culture, feminism, gang bangs for 15 year olds and how fucking sad it is to even have to talk about this

I don't have a lot of opinions.

I try not to say anything until I have heard both sides of a story.

I want all the facts before I allow myself to form an opinion on the matter.

I do not speak passionately about things that do not touch me personally.

I would make a horrible politician.

One thing that does touch me though is sexism.

Because, well. I'm a girl.

And even if I can take a joke now and again there are some things that are not funny.

Such as this story about a female musician who should "learn to deal with" threats, because that's what you get if you are a woman and you want to make music.

Or how about Feminist Frequency founder Anita Sarkeesian who was the target of a cyber mob who considered her their enemy. She talks about it in her TEDx talk.

And finally the fact that a 15 year old girl here in Sweden got raped by 6 guys during a party and all the guys were freed of charge. (oh yeah 5 - one of them just stood there handing out condoms - your parents will be proud)

Can we just take a moment and think about this last story for a moment. Six guys aged 15 to 17 took a girl's clothes, and phone. They led her into a room and proceeded to have intercourse with her one after another. She felt overpowered and decided to just lie there and hope it would all be over soon. And then she pressed charges. Because well. She got fucking gang raped.

And she lost. The Swedish law decided she could have just gone up and left. I guess those teenage blokes just waited for her to do so. They probably thought she liked it. Because well - all 15 year old girls want to have sex with 5 guys in a row.

You know what dick heads - they don't!

ESPECIALLY NOT IF THEY TELL YOU THAT THEY DO NOT WANT TO.

Sorry for the caps I just needed to get that out there.

Now on a personal matter; when I was in high school we once talked about rape.

One of the less intelligent boys in my class asked if it was still rape if the girl was unconscious enough not to be able to say anything. The argument here being that in that case she couldn't say neither yes nor no. 

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Are you so fucking desperate that you feel the need to sleep with an unconscious girl?

Oh I'm sorry; RAPE an unconscious girl.

The guy who said that once tried to lift my skirt and when I slapped his hand and looked at him with a what-the-fuck-are-you-doing kind of look he just laughed and told me "not to be so boring".

Classy. Rape-y.

I was scared of this guy for a long time. Physically scared because I knew he could easily beat me into a bloody mess if he felt like it. And that did not feel good. Going to school every day for two years knowing that there is an ass hole in my class willing to not just kick my ass but also rape me if I happen to be more or less unconscious.

This is not OK. This is not to be blamed on "rape culture" or "boys will be boys" or any other crap some man has come up with.

For me the saddest part of all this is that there are some stellar guys out there - guys that I love and care for - who are scared of the word "feminist". They are scared to be too feminine if they call themselves feminists. They are scared that taking position in this discussion make them weak.

Well just to make things clear: Guys - it does not make you weak to stand up to someone who thinks threats and rape are bad. It does not make you "gay" to think it is nice to sleep with someone who wants to sleep with you. It actually makes you a really cool (manly) guy. And you will not be friend-zoned just because you respect a woman and her wishes.

However, threatening people online makes you a dick. And raping people makes you a rapist.

And thinking having sex with unconscious women is OK makes you the biggest dick I have ever met. And not in a good way.

It makes me sad to even have to write these words. I should not be scared. I should be able to walk around naked without anyone feeling that they are allowed to touch me. I should be able to be drunk as hell without anyone feeling that they can slip their wiener in me. I should be able to have sex with as many people that I want without that having an effect on the legal outcome should I once be raped.

This world makes me sad.

I am a physically weak person. I will be the first one to die in the zombie apocalypse.

And if six older and physically stronger guys take my phone and my clothes and lock me in a room with them I will be scared. I will be so fucking terrified. But not of what they will do to me.

I will be scared that when I press charges, they will go free.